


Another Day Without Allison

by MissScarlett75



Category: Martiniski, Stydia - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison Argent & Lydia Martin Friendship, Banshee Lydia Martin, F/M, Female Friendship, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grieving, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Lydia-centric, Male-Female Friendship, Mourning, Multi, Other, Stiles and Lydia bonding over the past, Stiles is always there for Lydia, Stiles understands Lydia just like Allison did, Teen Wolf, and the death they've experienced, no matter what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 22:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1795456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissScarlett75/pseuds/MissScarlett75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been four months since Allison's death. Lydia struggles with the loss of her best friend.  One particular Friday, the grief hits Lydia all over again and she goes home to cry by herself.  However, a friend shows up at her door, making her feel not so alone in her grieving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Day Without Allison

**Author's Note:**

> This starts off approximately four months after 3B.

Lydia Martin was in a bad mood. It certainly didn’t help that it was a Friday. Fridays used to be the days she looked forward to the most, where she and Allison would either have sleepovers and do each other’s hair and nails, or go out to a party. Both girls, even when they had boyfriends—or in Lydia’s case most of the time, a friend with benefits—always set aside Friday nights to do their girly things. Now, Fridays were one of the days that Lydia dreaded the most. It was always another reminder that Allison was gone.

Some days Lydia got through ok. She focused on her schoolwork and participating in class, which helped her forget about Allison’s death. But just one look over to the desk next to her or a simple wander down the hallway without hearing the clunking of Allison’s trademark boots, caused grief to consume Lydia once more. If Lydia was lucky, she just felt a dull ache in her heart. But when reality hit once more, sometimes it was all Lydia could do not to break down crying again. Today was one of those days where Lydia knew it was only a matter of time before she snapped. Luckily, there was only one class left.

“Hey, Lydia,” came a chipper voice a few feet away. Lydia took a deep breath and rolled her eyes, already knowing who was to appear behind her. She plastered a smile on her face and turned around.

“Malia, hey,” she said. Lydia could already feel her blood pressure rising at the sight of the long and lean Malia in front of her. 

“Just wondering what you were up to tonight,” Malia said excitedly, her eyes sparkling at the prospect of hanging out. 

“Well, nothing, really. Feeling kind of hot, though. I think I may have a fever actually. So doing anything is obviously out of the question,” Lydia said bluntly, hoping to put this conversation to rest. She fanned her face to prove her point. Plus, if she didn’t make it obvious, Malia would constantly bother her. The girl wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

“Are you sure you’re ok? Maybe you should see the nurse,” Malia said, eyebrows furrowed.

“Nah, I’ll make it through last class of the day. After that though, I’ll be in bed the whole night, trying to sweat out this fever. I always wanted to see if that actually worked,” Lydia mused aloud.

“Wow, sounds cool! Let me know how it works out. And if you need anything of course,” Malia added hastily. Malia’s strange enthusiasm could only be attributed to the fact that she had been a coyote for around the last eight years. Lydia tried her hardest to be patient with Malia since it certainly wasn’t her fault, but it proved to be a struggle at times.

“Yeah, sure.” She watched as Malia walked down the hall, toward a locker she knew all too well. Malia was waiting for Stiles so they can walk to class together. 

From the other side of the hall, Lydia saw Scott and Stiles. Scott was looking rather down-trodden, but when wasn’t he? The guy lost the love of his life. Stiles, on the other hand, while seemingly tired and much more somber given recent events, was talking animatedly with Scott, sweeping hand moments and all. Lydia couldn’t help but smile. No matter what, one can always count on Stiles to be, well, Stiles.

On second thought, however, that couldn’t have always been said a few months ago, when Stiles became possessed by a nogistune. Stiles, even to this day, struggled to get over that. He could never forgive himself for the loss of so many innocent lives. He even blamed himself for Allison’s death, though Scott was constantly assuring him it wasn’t his fault. Though Stiles pretended he was doing ok, Lydia knew from her conversations with Scott that he was still having nightmares. The poor guy was still haunted by those dark days, but then, weren’t they all?

Lydia pretended to be searching for something in her bag so they couldn’t catch her eye. While they were all friends, Allison’s death had changed the group’s dynamic for good. Things were awkward and everyone didn’t really know how to interact with each other anymore. 

Lydia watched as Stiles met up with Malia. He gave her a quick peck on the lips and then they headed to class together. Stiles wasn’t really big on the public displays of affection, so mostly he and Malia only exchanged brief kisses if anything in front of others. They had only been going out for about a week, or rather, "casual dating" according to what Stiles told Scott, and already they made Lydia nauseous. 

Lydia couldn’t help but resent Malia a bit. They were friendly with each other and occasionally hung out, but more often than not, the girl just got on her nerves. Malia’s excitement for every little thing was especially grating, and Lydia constantly had to resist the urge to punch her. It was pretty ironic, considering Malia’s penchant for punching people that irritated her as well. 

But what bothered Lydia the most about Malia was the fact that, quite simply, the girl had snatched Stiles from right under Lydia’s nose. Lydia didn’t get Stiles’ attention as much anymore; she had been pushed to the curb. It appeared that Stiles only had time in his life for two very good friends, those being Scott and Malia. Lydia didn’t matter anymore. She was ashamed to admit it, but she missed Stiles. She missed their bantering, she missed his exasperated sighs and eye rolls towards her, and she missed the way he looked at her. Stiles always looked at Lydia with an expression of awe and disbelief, like she was the most beautiful girl in the room. While that never exactly changed--for Stiles still looked at her like that to this day--it was way less frequent for Lydia’s liking.

However, perhaps in retrospect, what she missed the most was Stiles’ presence. Stiles was always radiating energy. Lydia loved that about him most of all, that he was always thinking and moving twelve steps ahead, never tired but always eager for what was to come. This motivated Lydia herself, who always tended to get bored with everything. After all, she had an IQ of 170 and unfortunately, boredom was a constant in her life—or at least, it was before she met Stiles. She found their constant bickering exciting and invigorating. 

Lydia sighed, still staring at the spot in the hallway that Stiles and Malia had just vacated. Scott was nowhere to be seen. She glanced at the clock, she still had three minutes to get to math class. Ugh. The last thing she wanted to do right now was trigonometry, no matter how good she was at it.

Just then, Lydia heard a soft voice over her shoulder. “Lydia, how’s it going?” Lydia turned around to see Kira.

Kira was nice. She was rather awkward and quiet, but Lydia didn’t have anything against her per say. It was just hard for Lydia to really accept any girl into their “pack” who wasn’t Allison.

“Hey,” Lydia said.

“Any plans for tonight?” Kira asked. 

“Ugh! No. Can’t even think about it right now, my cramps are just SO unbearable,” Lydia lied. No way in hell was she going to be able to stand Kira tonight. Right now, the idea of hiding underneath her comforter in self-misery sounded way more appealing than anything Kira could possibly have in mind.

“Oh no! I’m sorry to hear that,” Kira said. “Can you make it through the last class of the day?”  
“I’ll manage to suffer through it,” Lydia said. She rolled her eyes. 

In the past several months, she had been through all kinds of suffering, from having banshee powers used against her will to bring back someone from the dead, being tormented by a demon in the form of one of her good friends, and losing her best friend, just to name a few. While certainly difficult and traumatic, she had come out a survivor and she could certainly deal with 50 minutes of math, no matter how excruciatingly painful.

“If you change your mind,” Kira said, “I’m always around. Scott may come over later to watch a movie or something, so you are more than welcome to join us.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Quickly, hoping to get this over with, Lydia spun on her heel and headed to class, leaving Kira staring after her.

Lydia mostly spent this class staring out the window. Her homework was done and entirely correct, as always. Normally Lydia would have volunteered to put up multiple problems on the board, but today she sat there, chin in hand, thinking about Allison. Thankfully her math teacher knew enough about Lydia to leave her alone. Allison’s death had gotten around the school and people were still all too aware of the effect it had had on Allison’s closest friends.

Finally, class was over. Lydia rushed out the door, only to bump into Stiles.

“Whoa, whoa, where are you off to?” Stiles asked, smiling broadly at her. He grabbed her arm, and Lydia felt the touch all the way up and down her body. Was that really necessary? 

“Nowhere you need to know about,” Lydia said stiffly. She instantly felt bad and attempted to give Stiles a smile before she wrenched her arm out of his grasp. But it was too late, for when Lydia managed to glance up at Stiles, her heart broke. The hurt in his eyes was all too prominent. God, she was such a bitch, wasn’t she?

Malia was right there beside him. Lydia pretended like she didn’t see her as she marched away, head held high, though she felt her eyes prickle with the upcoming familiar presence of tears.

Lydia couldn’t wait to get home. For once, she was thrilled to come home to an empty house. The silence was joy to her ears. Dumping her back pack in the hallway and appreciating the satisfying thud of her books against the wooden floor, she went straight to the cupboards and grabbed several bars of Godiva chocolate. Only the best would do to help her through the grief that was gnawing at her heart.

Once up in her bedroom, Lydia turned on the TV. She sat there, crying and staring at the screen. She missed Allison so much. She should be here right now, eating chocolate with her and talking about their plans for that very night. Allison would also make oh so subtle hints regarding Stiles like she always did, but this time saying “I told you so” regarding his relationship with Malia. Allison had been wise far beyond her years, in ways Lydia herself wasn’t, despite her own genius. Lydia needed Allison to get her through this mess that she found herself. After all, Lydia had come to the revelation that Stiles was the only boy who seemed to see her for who she truly was. This was truly problematic because Lydia didn’t know how to handle her feelings about this. Not to mention that it was too late to do anything about it now anyway.

Overall, the chocolate numbed the pain, but only temporarily. About one bar and halfway through her stash, Lydia started to get real stomach pains this time. Ugh. Tears erupted again, both at the pain in her stomach and in her heart. 

With a groan, she shoved away the chocolate mess and mass of tissues and burrowed under her Laura Ashley bedspread. This was the only way for her to pretend that this wasn’t her life. Maybe she’ll wake up and this will be a dream. If only, right? She lived in a world where werewolves existed and her best friend was killed by an Oni, but yet she couldn’t turn back time. Totally figured. The irony of life, right? Why wasn’t I killed by the Oni? Lydia thought to herself. Allison didn’t deserve to die. If I could, I would take her place in a heartbeat.

Lydia didn’t know how long she lay there. She must have dozed off at some point because a knock at her door woke her. She rolled her eyes and brought the slipping covers up over her head. She just wanted to disappear, but no one would let her do so. God, was it too much to ask for something to go her way for a change? She couldn’t remember the last time, she, Lydia Martin, had gotten her way. Especially nowadays.

“Lydia?” The sound was muffled, so she couldn’t be certain of who it was. Lydia didn’t care.

“Go away!” She grabbed a nearby pillow and placed it over her head. She heard her name a couple more times, now more persistent. The knocks were more forceful. It was probably her mother who couldn’t seem to get the frigging hint.

“I have cramps, Mom! Just leave me alone. God.” 

She then heard a shuffling and several loud thumps. “Oh crap!” And then, “Ouch! Son of a ---!” There seemed to be something rolling across the wooden floor outside of her room.

Lydia froze. She knew that voice anywhere. Was it? No, it couldn’t be. Curiosity ultimately got the better of Lydia, so she reluctantly left her cozy haven of sheets to go to the door.

She opened it and her mouth fell open. It was indeed Stiles. He was standing among a mass of bags, a pizza box half open in the corner of the hall. Stiles was dangerously close to crushing the said box where he was huddled against the wall, holding his foot. He jumped up and down, his face contorted in pain.

“What are you doing?” She narrowed her eyes at him, but could already feel her mouth twitching in amusement. Lydia almost forgot that she had been crying merely a minute earlier.

“I know, I know. You think I’m crazy.” She jokingly raised her eyebrows at him. “Fine, I guess that was never really up for debate,” Stiles said, with a wave of his hand, not quite meeting her gaze. 

There was a pause in which Lydia stood there, not quite sure what to say. Obviously, ever since the whole Nogistune incident, Stiles being “crazy” was a touchy subject still to this day.

He finally looked up at her, immediately flushing from embarrassment. “You know, let this be a lesson learned to never try to carry up a pizza, a gallon of ice cream, and several bags of junk food up a flight of stairs by yourself.”

Lydia tried her best to hide a smile, but failed miserably. “Oh yeah, most definitely. These kinds of lessons needed to be taught as early as the third grade,” she said, absolutely deadpan. “But seriously, are you ok? Did you survive the treacherous flight that is, apparently, my staircase?”

“Well, my toe may be broken, but besides that, yeah, I’ll survive.” He paused for a moment, head cocked to one side. “Actually, nope, I have feeling in all my toes. I deem this trip a success, despite the incessant pain.” He gave her a thumbs up and his trademark goofy Stiles grin. 

Lydia laughed. “Well, that’s good.” She suddenly felt very self conscious. Her hair was up in a messy bun, strands of hair slipping out of it. Lydia was in a pair of sweats and an old wrinkled t-shirt. She looked like a mess. Lydia couldn’t remember the last time she had ever looked like this in front of a boy. 

But then, she realized, that was because she had never let herself look like this in front of a boy before. She crossed her arms and tried her best to hide behind the door frame. Though of course, she realized this would do nothing to hide the fact that her eyes were red and felt so swollen she could barely move them.

“So anyway, you apparently told Malia and Kira two very different excuses for why you couldn’t hang out tonight,” Stiles said, with a quick glance up and down. She saw his eyes take in everything, from her messy hair, to her red splotchy face and baggy sweats. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok. You seemed really upset at school.”

Lydia just stared at him. There was an awkward pause. 

Lydia realized she had been stupid in thinking she can get away with this. Perhaps she should have just given an honest answer that she missed Allison and had just wanted to spend the night alone when she was questioned by Kira and Malia. Then, Lydia was ashamed to tell them the truth. But yet, now on second thought, did she really want to be alone right now? Lydia herself was surprised at how she felt.

“Oh, so you really had a fever and cramps?” Stiles completely misinterpreted her silence and looked like he wanted to fall through the floor right then and there. “I guess I might have jumped the gun on that then.” He flinched and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m still working on all this girl stuff. Um…so on that note, maybe I’ll just leave you with these provisions and head on out.”

“No, no, you don’t have to do that,” Lydia said forcefully. She bent down to help him with the food. “Come on in.”

He followed her into her bedroom.

“And I don’t have either, actually, in case you were wondering. I’m not a baby,” Lydia said indignantly over her shoulder. “I’ve just become a really bad liar.”

“Duly noted.” 

Lydia dumped all the food on her bed and scooted back under the covers. Stiles sat on the bed next to her, on top of the bedspread.

“I see you’ve already started with the snacking,” Stiles said, approvingly nodding over to the chocolate pile.

“Yes, well, I was hoping it would make me feel better. But it didn’t really work. I just, I miss her so much,” Lydia said, looking down picking at a loose thread on her bedspread. Tears threatened to spill again. 

“I know the feeling,” Stiles said. “It numbs the pain for a bit, but then it comes back stronger than ever. The pain is always there, and for me, there’s the guilt too. I feel it every day.” His voice cracked and he looked down at his hands.

“I don’t blame you for Allison’s death,” Lydia said, “I never did.”

“I know you don’t. But I do, and I always will. It’s not something that I can easily get over, you know? But it’s helped that you guys have always been there for me. I wouldn’t have made it through this otherwise. I just want you to know that you don’t have to go through this alone either.”

Lydia nodded, a lump forming in her throat.

“But if you want to be alone, then I certainly understand.” Stiles made to get up out of bed.

“No, don’t!” Lydia blurted out. Stiles paused and looked at her. “Please, please stay,” Lydia said softly. “Don’t go just yet.” 

“Always,” Stiles said immediately. She realized in her haste to prevent Stiles from leaving, Lydia had placed her hand on his leg. Stiles stared at it. She quickly drew it away. Their eyes locked. Lydia felt heat rising in her face as she stared at his syrupy brown eyes. 

Stiles cleared his throat, hastily turning away. “So, um…what are you watching? Is that The O.C.?” He squinted his eyes at the TV screen in disbelief.

“What, I can’t watch it or something?” Lydia countered.

“No, no,” Stiles said quickly. “I never imagined you watching a show that didn’t have the actors spitting out thermodynamic properties and solving equations every two seconds. I just figured that would be more up your alley and all, now that you aren’t a closeted genius anymore.” 

Stiles jokingly nudged his shoulder against hers and smiled, leaving Lydia feeling rather short of breath. She quickly looked away from him.

“Yeah, well,” Lydia said, “it was one of me and Allison’s favorite shows. Just figured I’d watch it, for old time’s sake. Sometimes it makes it feel like she’s still with me.”  
Stiles nodded. “I know what you mean. My mom always loved The Golden Girls. I would sometimes watch it with her, just because she was. Now whenever it’s on, I watch it and makes me feel closer to her. I even kind of like it now.” He shrugged. “Though I swear to you, if you tell anyone I admitted that, I will adamantly deny it as long as I live. So don’t even try.”

Lydia laughed.

“This show, on the other hand,” Stiles said, “is a teen classic. How can anyone not like it?” He looked at the screen, where there was a shot of Adam Brody. “Me, personally, I’ve always felt a kinship with Seth Cohen.”

“Oh, most definitely. You two are like the same person,” Lydia said, looking over at him and nodding. He grinned at her.

“So,” Stiles slowly began, adjusting his position on the bed. He was sitting up against the headboard. “What do you say? Want to dig into that ice cream and turn up the TV?”

“What? No pizza first?” Lydia asked in mock horror.

“Nah, I think we should be rebels tonight, what do you think?” Stiles asked, a mischievous grin on his face. “Dessert first, pizza later.”

“I couldn’t have worded it better myself,” Lydia said with a smile. She felt herself cheering up already. Hanging out with Stiles was just what she needed right now.  
Stiles offered her a spoon and settled the gallon of cookie dough between them. For a moment, Lydia hesitated. She had so much chocolate already. What about her weight? 

It was as if Stiles read her mind, because he inched over to her side of the bed.

“You know,” Stiles said, leaning closer to her, “I’ll let you in on a secret. Gorging yourself on junk food one night isn’t going to affect your weight. I promise. I also promise that you’ll look beautiful either way. So don’t worry about it. Eat the damn ice cream.” He pushed the ice cream closer to her with his leg.

Lydia couldn’t move. She shivered as she felt his breath against his ear. Out of the corner of her eye, she couldn’t help but notice those long eyelashes of his. She blinked and noticed Stiles was still holding out the spoon. She took a deep breath and hesitated again. Did she really want to do this? Yes. It surprised Lydia how much she wanted to share it with Stiles, so she dug in.

Four episodes, half a gallon of cookie dough and two slices of cold pizza later, Lydia found herself getting rather sleepy. She yawned.

“I never would have imagined me wanting to go to sleep at 9:30 on Friday, but yet, here I am,” Lydia said. “How times have changed, huh? The mighty have certainly fallen.” She laughed darkly.

“Me too,” Stiles said. “It’s been one of those days. Actually one of those weeks.” He thought for a minute. “No, it’s been one of those months. The past four months AKA the months from hell. Literally. It’s been a never ending nightmare, one in which I’m exhausted 24/7 and can’t wake up.”

“You can say that, again,” Lydia said. “After everything we’ve been through, this has got to have been the hardest thing ever.”

There was an awkward pause. Lydia felt nervous. Stiles was here, sitting beside her in bed. No matter how Lydia felt about Stiles, he had a girlfriend, and this was not ok. The old Lydia would have been on top of him in a heartbeat. A guy in her bed? No problem. Lydia would have furthered the situation along and had sex with him in the hour. 

But Stiles. Stiles was different. She couldn’t do this to him. He deserved happiness more than anyone she knew. He deserved to have a girlfriend. As much as it pained her to say it, he also deserved to have Malia. Sure, Lydia didn’t like the girl, but Lydia would never forgive herself if she came in the way of that. 

“Um…don’t you have plans with Malia or something?” Lydia asked in a small voice, she shifted under her blankets, so they came up to her shoulders. She was chilly all of a sudden.

“Er…well, Malia was the one who encouraged me to come over actually,” he said awkwardly. “She could tell you were upset and figured you could use company. Being as how I know you the best, it seemed appropriate it would me. Plus, I know the two of you don’t really get along that well.”

“Hmm…well, that was nice of her,” Lydia murmured. Perhaps she should rethink her feelings regarding Malia.

She snuggled further underneath her blankets. All that crying must have really exhausted her. She didn’t even care how much they were talking about Malia right now.

Lydia adjusted her head and found a comfortable spot on her pillow, still facing him. “But if you have to go see her, I understand. I’ll be fine here.” She truly meant what she said. Stiles was with Malia, not her. This was the last place Stiles needed to be right now. 

“You know what? I think she’ll get it if I stayed. You need me more,” Stiles said. Stiles reached into his pocket for his cell phone.

“Stiles, you really don’t have to do this.” She could barely keep her eyes open. Lydia felt his weight shift and it barely registered in her sleepy brain that she was now leaning against Stiles’ shoulder.

“I know,” he said, “but I want to.”

“Thanks, I like that you’re here,” she mumbled. Lydia barely knew what she was saying at this point, she was so tired.

“Any time, Lydia,” she heard him say. “Any time.”

They sat there in silence, Stiles sitting up against the head of the bed, with Lydia on his shoulder. Lydia couldn’t be sure in her sleepy state, but she felt the gentlest of touches against her head as Stiles ran his fingers through her hair. She snuggled further into him. She could feel his chest rise and fall with every breath he took. It was the last thing Lydia heard and felt before the movement lulled her into a deep sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of people compare certain relationships/events in Teen Wolf to The O.C. So I just thought it would be fun to add a little reference to The O.C. there. :)


End file.
